


Kindness and Comfort on La Sirena

by Talvenhenki



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insomnia, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Discrimination, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, therapy animals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: It is Comfortember 2020 and I decided to participate! I decided to do a completely Star Trek: Picard themed collection of one-shots that may or may not relate to each other. I wouldn't know, since I only have 3 chapters ready so far, oops.Chapter 18 - Hot cocoa (Elnor & Hugh)Paused, not abandoned!
Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios, Elnor & Hugh | Third of Five, Raffi Musiker & Jean-Luc Picard, Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine
Comments: 66
Kudos: 48
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	1. Rescue (Or How Hugh Became Part of La Sirena Crew)

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, my challenging myself to write 30 chapters of La Sirena comfort! Every chapter will center on different character (I hope) but I do have a tendency to write Agnes/Rios so this couple might be seen more often than not. In this story I will only ship Agnebal (Agnes/Rios) and Saffi (Seven/Raffi) and every other interaction will be strictly platonic

Hugh exhaled. And then inhaled.

_Huh?_

Hugh was breathing. How on earth was Hugh breathing? Hugh was supposed to be dead, and dead people did not breathe, not as far as Hugh knew. Was there some sort of an afterlife no one knew about, where people and xBs alike _breathed_?

No, that didn’t sound very logical. Not that Hugh was a man of logic, to be fair.

Slowly, Hugh opened his eyes. Looking around, he found he was in a sickbay of sorts, and someone – _Seven!_ – was sitting at his bedside. Hugh tried to open his mouth and speak up, perhaps to greet Seven, but to his horror, no sound came out.

“Don’t try to speak, Hugh”, Seven said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Narissa’s dagger damaged your vocal cords. Emil hasn’t managed to fully regenerate them yet.”

A person – holographic, it seemed – walked over and greeted Hugh with a reassuring smile. “Do not worry, Mr. Hugh”, he said, speaking with a refined British accent, “you are in good hands now. I will have to sedate you soon, so I can perform the operation on your vocal cords, but I assure you, after that you’ll be healthy and up and going in no time.”

Hugh nodded and reached out to Seven. She took his hand and nodded.

“I’ll stay with you through the procedure”, she told him, “you won’t be alone.”

Hugh exhaled again as a hypo was pressed on his neck and its contents released in his bloodstream. A welcoming darkness embraced him as he lost consciousness in preparation for his procedure.

* * *

Hugh woke, once again, to the sight of a sterile sickbay. He had seen many different ones during his lifetime, and this seemed the nicest. Sure, it was sterile and kind of deserted, but there were personalising touches that most sickbays did not have. The little plants especially. Hugh loved the little plants.

“Ah, you’ve awakened.”

The EMH walked over, checking Hugh’s vitals. He smiled, clearly pleased with himself, as he saw that Hugh had made a full recovery. He then turned off the controls of the biobed and helped Hugh to sit up.

“You’re free to go now”, the EMH explained, “but be careful with your voice. You shouldn’t use it very much yet because your vocal cords need to rest before being fully healed. Oh, and be careful. There is a very excited Romulan waiting for you just outside that door.”

“Thank you”, Hugh rasped out. “What…what should I call you?”

“Me? I’m Emil”, the EMH said. “Now, you should drink plenty of water and avoid speaking. I’m sure you will feel great after resting a little bit. And beware of Elnor.”

Hugh nodded, smiling, and exited the sickbay. As soon as he stepped into the mess hall, a whirlwind of Elnor rushed to him, giving Hugh the tightest hug that he’d had since forever. Hugh gladly accepted the hug, finding that he sorely needed it.

“It fills me with joy to find you alive”, Elnor said, “and I believe the others are happy as well. Would you like something to eat? Or drink?”

Hugh raised one finger, nodding, and walked over to the replicator to order a cup of water and a sandwich. He and Elnor claimed one table where they could share a meal and chat freely.

“How did you find me?” Hugh asked after drinking some water. God, his voice sounded absolutely terrible.

“Seven of Nine and Soji found you”, Elnor explained. He was drinking some tea and looking intensely at Hugh. “They were doing some last-minute cleaning at the Borg Cube before our departure when some xBs called Seven of Nine over and showed her that you were covered in nanobots. They were…ah…fixing? They were fixing you. They had to fire an electromagnetic pulse to free you because the bots were covering you. After that we beamed you in the sickbay where Emil and Agnes treated you.”

 _Nanobots_ , Hugh thought, _what magnificent little creatures they were, fixing a drone even after it had been freed. It’s no wonder that the Borg are one of the most feared species of the galaxy if they can bring single beings back from the brink of death._

Looking around, he asked, “this ship?”

“It is called _La Sirena_ ”, Elnor said, smiling widely. “Admiral Picard hired Captain Rios originally to find Soji, but since he hasn’t kicked us out, I think we’re now a crew, which makes me very happy! Captain Rios likes to pretend that we aren’t one, though, since that’s how he…rolls? Is that the term?”

Hugh nodded, smiling. Apparently, there was no universal translator which could prove problematic if someone – like Elnor here – wasn’t fluent in the common language. As soon as Hugh would regain his voice, he’d teach Elnor some of the most common sayings in English.

Grabbing Elnor’s hand, Hugh looked in his eyes and smiled. “Thank you”, he breathed. “It’s good to be among friends.”

Elnor nodded. “It truly brings me joy to find you alive and well. When I thought you’d died…it was probably the first time I’d ever lost someone who was my friend. I’d…I’d never failed in my task before it. I felt devastated.”

 _Ah_ , Hugh thought, _Elnor truly is young_. Hugh would have to make sure no one took advantage of it, to make sure no one hurt Elnor. For a moment, it felt like Hugh had gained a younger brother through his rescue.

Maybe this time, along with his individuality, Hugh would gain a family as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments spark joy!


	2. First Day/Night (Or A Midnight Snack With Soji)

“Oh. Hi.”

 _La Sirena_ had left Coppelius earlier that day, and they were on their way to…who knew? Soji definitely did not know where they were going, not that it mattered. She just enjoyed her freedom. She was free to be herself, free to be a synth without the fear of prejudice and hate. That was definitely nice.

What was not so nice was that she had bumped into Agnes, making her fall over. Soji was strong and it made her somewhat of a hazard because her synth-ness also made her heavy. She wasn’t used to it. But then again, neither were the others.

“Sorry”, Soji said, helping Agnes stand up again. “What’s up?”

“Me”, Agnes said. “You. Apparently, we’re up. Are you okay? You look, I don’t know, kind of sad.”

Agnes was, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary, quite good at reading other people’s moods. Especially Soji’s. Perhaps Agnes was sensitive to the synths and their moods? It made sense, considering that she was a scientist specialised in synths.

“I am”, Soji confessed, “I am a little bit sad to leave Coppelius behind. I am sad because I won’t have a chance to learn anything else from my people.”

“Oh.”

Agnes’ face fell in that comical Agnes-like way. She was really rather expressive, even for an organic. She led Soji to sit down at one of the tables and then made her way to the replicator. When she returned, she was carrying a container of French fries and some peppermint ice cream.

“Do you think this could help?”

Soji smiled. “For a start, anyway”, she said, nodding. “What are you doing up this late?”

Agnes leaned in closer. “I was hungry”, she whispered in an exaggerated way, “and I thought I could get something easy to eat while the other slept.”

Soji giggled. “We should have a midnight feast then. Come on. What do you want to eat?”

“I think I’ll have some takoyaki”, Agnes decided, “and yakisoba. I really miss Japanese food.”

“Tell me about Japan”, Soji asked, “and your work.”

Agnes shrugged. “Well, my work is normally just sitting around and running very theoretical simulations. And writing. But Japan is a great place. It actually used to be one of the leading countries in AI development when it was still a new thing. Maybe that’s why they built Daystrom there. If you want, I could show you around Okinawa and Japan. It could be a fun little adventure to see the place where they began developing the technology that eventually made you possible. If we’re lucky, we could see an ancestor of yours.”

“I thought all synthetic life was banned?” Soji whispered.

“Well, Japan has a lot of science museums”, Agnes explained, “which means there are a lot of really old robots in display. Kind of like nature history museums with some apes for us organics.”

Soji laughed, surprised from Agnes’ sudden figure of speech. The laughing made her inhale the French fry that she had in her mouth, which made her cough uncontrollably. Agnes tapped Soji’s back to help her dislodge the fry.

“I need to see one of those ancient robots”, Soji whispered after she got her breathing back under control.

“Oh, we definitely need to do an outing to one of those science museums”, Agnes agreed, nodding her head. “And we could go see some sights and try out some Japanese dishes. And…if you’d like that, I could show you the place your sister was accepted to.”

Soji’s eyes widened as she looked up at Agnes. Suddenly it felt like she had a lump in her throat, around which she couldn’t breathe very well. She swallowed, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

“You’d let me see Daystrom?” Soji whispered. “You’d let me see where Dahj would have gone, had she not… _died_?”

Agnes nodded and then hugged Soji. “I would. I thought it might be helpful for the grieving process if you were allowed to see where she would have tried to uncover the plot about the ban. Besides, now that we’re allowed to actually do research on synthetic life, it would be great to have your opinion on the work Daystrom does!”

Soji nodded, wiping her eyes. She wasn’t exactly crying, but the tears wouldn’t stop no matter what she did. Agnes grabbed a tissue from her endless stash of pockets and helped Soji to wipe the tears.

“You see”, Agnes said, “I didn’t get to meet Dahj but at least I got to meet you and see Coppelius. I can’t possibly imagine how hard it’ll be to be the only one different in the way you are but I want you to know that I’ll be your friend if you ever need one. And I’m sure Cris will be too, even if he pretends otherwise.”

Soji giggled, still a little bit teary-eyed. “Thank you. I feel a little bit better now.”

“Good”, Agnes said, “now let’s finish eating and go to bed. Who knows what we’ll face tomorrow?”


	3. Nightmares (In Which Agnes Imagines a Better Future With Cris)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some of that sweet Agnebal! I hope y'all will like it since there will be quite a lot of agnebal in the future because I am who I am and I damn well like this ship. Now go and enjoy the chapter!

Cristóbal’s throat was dry. He could still feel the remnants of the nightmare holding onto him as he sat up on the edge of his bed to steady himself. He couldn’t quite remember what it had been about, since all of his dreams seemed to repeat themselves and, eventually, they turned into mush in his mind. All he could remember was a feeling of loneliness gnawing away at his chest.

Cristóbal turned his head to look at Agnes who was sleeping peacefully behind him. She seemed almost happy when she was asleep, compared to her usual haunted look. He moved closer to her to be able to stroke her cheek and sighed.

At least his nightmare hadn’t woken Agnes. But then again, he had the tendency to suffer in silence, which was nothing new.

Suddenly Agnes whimpered, still asleep. Was she having a nightmare as well? She was frowning and gripping the quilt as hard as she could, which was usually Cristóbal’s cue to interfere.

“Agnes”, he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. “Agnes! Wake up. It’s a nightmare; you’re safe.”

After a few moments of trying to wake her up, Agnes’ eyes flew open. She looked up at Cristóbal who looked exhausted from the lack of sleep. Would she notice it, or was she too scared from her own nightmare to realise that Cris hadn’t slept enough?

“Did I wake you?” Agnes choked, still shaken from the nightmare. She grabbed Cristóbal’s hand for support but didn’t sit up.

Cristóbal shook his head. “I was already awake. Want to talk about it?”

Agnes squeezed her eyes shut and pulled Cristóbal’s hand closer to her. She was trembling violently. Cristóbal wanted to hold her close and comfort her, but he wasn’t sure it would be the best idea while she was still so shaken.

“It was the usual”, Agnes whispered, “the one with The Admonition. But…this time I think I saw you. I think you’d been injured. I was trying to get to you, but whatever I tried, I didn’t seem to reach you. It was awful.”

“Hey”, Cristóbal said, leaning over to give Agnes a kiss on her temple, “I’m right here. I’m okay. Whatever haunted your dream, it didn’t happen. You’re quite safe here with me.”

Agnes opened her eyes again and sat up to hug Cristóbal. He wrapped one arm around her frame while he used the other to rub her back. She shivered at the touch and squeezed his shoulder a bit tighter.

“What about you, though?” she asked softly. “Did you have a nightmare as well? Or did you never fall asleep in the first place?”

Cristóbal sighed. “A nightmare. Don’t remember much of it, though.”

“Oh. Lie down with me?”

Cristóbal followed Agnes to lie back down on the bed. She snuggled close to him and planted her face against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed like they often did when the other was feeling down. Cristóbal began stroking her hair, which relaxed her somewhat.

“Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?” Agnes asked, her voice muffled by Cristóbal’s shirt.

“Yes”, Cristóbal replied, “let me comfort you. I hate to see you so sad and shaken.”

Agnes chuckled. “Fine. Sing me something. I like to listen to your voice when you sing.”

“Sure thing”, Cristóbal said and began humming the first tune that he could think of. Agnes pressed her ear against his chest and smiled. She loved the sound of Cristóbal’s voice in his chest when he sang. The deep rumble was very comforting for her.

After a moment, Agnes began to recognise the melody. It was an old Earth song of two people who knew each other and the sea so well that they needed no words to communicate their feelings. Agnes had learnt the song from Cris, and although the Swedish lyrics were kind of hard for both of them, they still liked the song. If Agnes were to be honest, she suspected that Cris had learnt the song because it was about the sea.

“Do you reckon we could be like the couple in that song?” Agnes asked softly. “That we could just…look into each other’s eyes and understand what’s going on? That we could live on a stormy island and you could go fishing whenever you want?”

“I’d like that”, Cristóbal admitted, nodding his head. “What about you?”

“To be honest, I’m not very keen on living on a small island”, Agnes said, “but if we make compromises, I could do that for you. I like how happy you look when we talk about the sea. I’d like to see you that happy more often.”

Cristóbal smiled. Whatever nightmare he’d had, he’d forgotten all about it. Agnes’ words had made him realise that he really could have a future with her. They could live somewhere in the countryside _together_ and forget the world that had made them suffer.

They could be happy.

“It doesn’t have to be an island, you know”, Cristóbal whispered, “we could live somewhere near the sea and have our own little garden and…be together? I think I’d be happy if we were together, no matter where.”

Agnes looked up at Cristóbal, looking a little bit misty-eyed. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot, actually. We should totally take a vacation like that, with just the two of us. We should take a vacation like that and pretend that we’re a disgustingly cute couple and do all kinds of couple things.”

Cristóbal’s smile grew wider. He loved the way Agnes called them a couple and how she wanted to do all those “couple things” with him. Warmth spread around in his chest as he looked at her looking so wonderfully adorable.

Cristóbal loved the fact that Agnes could imagine a future with him.

“Yes”, Cristóbal breathed, “we should do that. But before that, let’s try to sleep for a bit. I don’t think we’ll have any nightmares after imagining such nice things right before going to sleep.”

Agnes nodded. “Sounds good. Hold me while we sleep?”

Cristóbal smiled and pulled Agnes right next to him and made sure that the quilt covered them both. She planted her face against his shoulder and sighed contently.

“Sleep well”, Agnes whispered, “and dream of me. I’ll keep the nightmares at bay. I promise.”

Cristóbal smiled and kissed her hair. “I will. And I’ll keep you safe while you sleep. Okay?”

Agnes nodded. With Cristóbal, she was certain to be safe and sound.

In the morning, neither of them would remember their nightmares.


	4. Anxiety (Or In Which Raffi And Elnor Talk About Hugh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult one. I had multiple ideas for different characters but eventually it was Elnor who became the comforted. Hopefully you'll enjoy the story!

“I am anxious.”

Raffi looked up at Elnor who was staring out of the viewscreen and onto the planet La Sirena was orbiting at that moment. Picard, along with some others had beamed down to greet some people who needed help, leaving Raffi and Elnor on transporter duty. Which meant that Raffi was having a relaxing cup of tea and Elnor was pacing around the ship.

“I’m sure Picard will be fine”, Raffi said, trying not to sound annoyed. “He’s a synth now. A tough nut to crack.”

“But I should be with him”, Elnor argued, shaking his head. “I pledged my sword to his cause! What if the Tal Shiar are there? What if they get ambushed? I’m of no use if I stay here!”

Raffi sighed. Sometimes she forgot how young and naïve Elnor truly was. To be honest, it was kind of difficult to remember sometimes, considering that Elnor could slaughter a whole army without so much as batting an eye at it.

“Elnor”, Raffi said, trying to sound stern, “sweetie. JL is _fine_. Soji and Rios are with him. And who knows what Agnes is capable of? I hear she once shot a Zhat Vash agent because she was scared.”

Elnor groaned and sat down on the ops chair. He was _slouching_. Raffi had had no idea that Elnor could slouch like that! He looked pensive as he stared at the planet, as if he could transport himself on the surface by the force of his will alone.

“What about Hugh?” Elnor asked softly. “The last time he was in danger…I lost him.”

 _Oh_. So that was the reason for Elnor’s anxiety. It was no wonder the poor kid was so worried; he was just a boy after all. Raffi rubbed her temple as she tried to figure out how to soothe Elnor’s anxiety about this particular matter.

Clearing her throat, Raffi said, “look, Elnor. You cannot always protect everyone. I know you’ve been told that you can, but sometimes people just don’t make it. Sometimes we just have to accept that.”

“Then how do I stop feeling so anxious?” Elnor asked.

 _Easier said than done_ , Raffi thought. To be honest, she wasn’t so sure either. She kept getting worried about Picard, even though she knew that he was a synth now and could probably fend for himself, even though Agnes had said he had no so-called superpowers. She was so used to the thought of JL being just an old man. Perhaps Elnor had similar thoughts about Hugh?

“I think you should just trust them”, Raffi mused. “You can be worried for them, of course, but feeling anxious every time someone is away can be bad for you. If you keep getting anxious every time you can’t see the other person, you should talk to Emil about it.”

“I thought Emil was here to fix us if we got sick or hurt?”

Raffi couldn’t help smiling at Elnor’s innocent question. Perhaps the Qowat Milat had less cases of mental illnesses because of their way of speaking their mind? Raffi should try that from time to time; it would make for a refreshing change.

“Excessive anxiety can be an illness as well”, Raffi explained, “kind of like with Agnes. It can prevent you from doing things you like, when you feel too much anxiety about it. And if you’re anxious because of something you cannot even make a difference to, you really should talk to Emil. He has a wide range of knowledge about the illnesses of the mind and how to prevent them.”

Elnor looked at Raffi, his eyes wide. For once, he had been left speechless, which Raffi found a bit disturbing. She had grown so used to all the blabbering between Elnor and Agnes that the silence almost felt deafening. _Hurry up and say something!_ Raffi thought.

“I’d never realised my mind could get sick like that”, Elnor said, sounding a little bit surprised. “Should I talk about my worries with Hugh and Picard, or should I keep it between us two and maybe Emil?”

“I’d talk to Hugh, if I were you”, Raffi decided, “since your worries clearly come from having lost him once. Maybe he can help you deal with your anxieties. Like by telling you he isn’t going to die on away missions or something. You can leave JL alone, though. He’s not good for comforting anyone, much less young people.”

Elnor smiled. “I recall how difficult it was for him to be around me when I was a child. That side of him has not changed.”

Raffi laughed. Finally some Absolute Candour! Raffi almost wished Picard would have heard Elnor’s words since Picard often thought too highly of himself when he wasn’t that high and mighty anymore. He was just an old man who liked to think he was great once.

“Thank you, Raffi”, Elnor said, “you’ve helped to ease my mind. I will talk with Hugh when he returns.”

“Hold on.” Raffi waved at Elnor to stop him from leaving the bridge. “What do you say we get something nice to eat? Like cake. Have you ever had cake?”

Elnor shook his head, visibly confused. Had he really never had any cake? Raffi almost jumped up from her seat at the very instant to rectify the terrible lack of cake Elnor had lived through. How had no one ever given him any cake, even as a child? Children needed cake every now and then. It was a good thing that Raffi had been the one to find out, because Agnes would probably have made him eat all sorts of cake at once.

“Okay, auntie Raffi’s going to get you some cake right now”, Raffi decided and led Elnor down to the mess hall. “Since you’ve never had any, I’m going to choose for you. How does a strawberry cake sound?”

“Is it made of strawberries?” Elnor asked, eyes almost as wide as teacups.

“No, I don’t think so”, Raffi admitted. “It has strawberries on top, though. Sounds good?”

Elnor smiled, nodding enthusiastically. Gone were the anxieties over Hugh and Picard, as Raffi introduced the amazing world of cakes to Elnor, at long last. How anyone could have made Elnor live without any was beyond Raffi, especially after the sparkling look of joy Elnor gave her after he’d had his first spoonful.

The kid would be okay, that much Raffi knew.


	5. Cuddling (Or When Cris is Sad)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this one a lot and I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. I also hope your heart turns into soft mush after reading this because that's what mine did.

Cristóbal groaned. He’d barely woken up, and somehow, he felt drained of all energy. Was it one of those days when nothing seemed to work in the way he wanted? Speaking of that, Cristóbal noticed that Agnes’ side of the bed was empty and cold. Had she left in the middle of the night? Why wasn’t she in bed, sleeping in the messy manner only she could replicate?

Just _wonderful_.

Rolling over on his back, Cristóbal stretched his limbs. It was an ungodly hour anyway and Agnes was away for a good reason. Like a midnight snack. Agnes was the type to have midnight snacks. Which was one thing Cristóbal liked about Agnes. He liked to cook and bake, and she liked to eat. What more would a man wish for?

“Computer”, Cristóbal muttered, “what’s the time?”

“It is 2.27AM.”

Cristóbal sighed. Where was Agnes? He really needed her attitude and hugs. His head was aching, and he was feeling somewhat cold. He hated waking up in the middle of the night like this, but secretly he was also grateful for not having had any nightmares.

Suddenly the door slid open and the familiar shape of Agnes Jurati stepped inside. Cristóbal held out his arms and she snuggled into his embrace after shedding her slippers and the overalls she wore over her nightclothes.

“Did I wake you?” Agnes asked softly as Cristóbal pulled her close.

“No.” He shook his head for emphasis. “I woke up earlier. Missed you.”

Agnes giggled. “Oh, Cris. I’m right here. I was having a little chat with Soji while I got some midnight snack because I got hungry. She was feeling a bit sad and I helped her to feel better.”

“I’m sad too.”

Agnes paused for a moment, looking up at Cristóbal with a worried expression. _Shit!_ Cristóbal hadn’t meant to let that slip out. He didn’t want to worry Agnes with his dumb bouts of sadness since she always wanted to fix him so bad. Agnes was a sweet little thing who always wanted the best for everybody and would go to great lengths to make sure everyone – including Cristóbal – was happy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Agnes whispered, touching Cristóbal’s forehead with hers. “Or would you rather just cuddle the sadness away?”

“Cuddles sound nice”, Cristóbal mumbled and let Agnes snuggle a little bit closer to him. “There was no particular reason for the sad.”

Agnes hummed and buried her hand under Cristóbal’s wild curls. She began massaging his scalp, hoping that it would make him more relaxed. With her free arm she held him close to herself, wanting to provide as much comfort as she could. She was still resting her forehead against Cristóbal’s, allowing their breaths to mingle. She wanted to stay as close to him as she could because she’d read somewhere that positive touches were a good thing to one’s mental health.

“That feels nice”, Cristóbal breathed as Agnes began massaging his scalp closer to his neck. “I was having a headache earlier. That helps.”

“Good”, Agnes whispered, “that’s good. I’m happy if it helps. I want to help. I want to be that sort of a person who barges in your space in the middle of the night and makes you feel all better.”

Cristóbal smiled. To tell the truth, he already saw Agnes as that person. But he decided to keep that to himself because he wasn’t sure how to tell Agnes that. She would disagree, say that she’s too clumsy and awkward to be that person, and Cristóbal didn’t have the energy to fight her.

“You’re helping now”, he chose to say instead. “Just being close to you makes me feel a bit better.”

Smiling, Agnes kissed Cristóbal’s forehead again. She then moved a little bit so she could place her chin over his head and let him hide his face against her shoulder. His hair tickled her neck, making her giggle a bit nervously, which in turn made Cristóbal smile. Oh, how he loved the sound of Agnes laughing so freely again. After the Maddox incident she’d been so quiet and _sad_ that the sound of her laughing was music to Cristóbal’s ears.

“Oops”, Agnes mumbled after a while, “can you move your head? I think my arm’s falling asleep.”

Cristóbal smiled and raised his head just enough for Agnes to move her arm away. She pulled it up and began curling and uncurling her fingers to get the blood flowing again. She was scrunching her nose at the feeling, which Cristóbal found simply adorable.

“Pins and needles?” he asked softly.

“Yup”, Agnes said, “very many. Ah, I should have been more careful. Now I can’t use my arm for a bit. Stupid me.”

“No, you’re not stupid”, Cristóbal argued, looking into Agnes’ eyes. “You’re a little awkward sometimes, but not stupid. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as intelligent as you. Please don’t call yourself stupid; we both know you’re not.”

Agnes pouted. “Hey. I was the one supposed to comfort you, not the other way around. Now yield and let yourself be comforted.”

Cristóbal couldn’t help but laugh. Agnes’ expression and her choice of words were so like her. Little awkward but said with good intentions. Her presence alone was comforting to him and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. If only she would be nicer to herself.

“Fine”, he said, smiling softly at Agnes, “comforts accepted. But I don’t want to be comforted at the expense of your comfort. You deserve happiness too. We…I think we both do.”

Agnes nodded, after a few moments of thinking. “You’re right”, she whispered, “I should be more careful in the ways I refer to myself.”

“Good that we got that settled”, Cristóbal said, pulling Agnes closer. “Now, let me hold you a little bit closer so we can fall asleep cuddling, okay?”

Laughing, Agnes nodded and allowed Cristóbal to hold her close and kiss her all over her face.


	6. Afraid To Sleep (That's What Girlfriends Are For)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I really love writing Raffi and Seven and their relationship. Please tell me what you think of this chapter after you're done - I wanna know if my characterization has been on point!

“I thought I was the only one awake at this time.”

Raffi looked up at Seven who was wearing her tracksuit, looking at Raffi who had claimed the armchair they had replicated for their quarters on _La Sirena_. Sweat was glistening on her neck as she smiled at the recipient of her fond feelings.

“Can’t let you stay alone all the time”, Raffi mumbled, curling her arms a bit tighter around her legs. “Don’t want you to feel lonely.”

“Isn’t that sweet”, Seven said, smiling. “Let me go and wash all this sweat off real quick and then we can hang out.”

Raffi nodded, hiding her face behind her arms. Luckily Seven hadn’t realised that there was something off with Raffi, because obviously she was _fine_ and Seven shouldn’t worry about her. Little bit of insomnia never killed anybody. Well, never killed Cris. That guy could probably go for a week with minimum sleep and never once falter, mismatched socks and sometimes shoes aside. God, Raffi sometimes hated his ability to be so… _him!_

True to her words, Seven was quickly finished with her shower. She smelled nice – she had some nice shampoo she was using – and Raffi almost relaxed at her touch before she could remember why she was feeling uncomfortable to begin with. Raffi shook her head, pressing it closer against her arms that were currently resting against her knees.

“What is it?” Seven asked, rubbing Raffi’s back. “You don’t look so good. Can’t sleep?”

Raffi chuckled hollowly. “More like don’t want to sleep. It’s my son’s birthday and…he didn’t answer when I called. He never does.”

“Oh.”

Seven sat down right next to Raffi, pulling her into a warm embrace. Raffi had never spoken much about Gabriel, mostly because of how afraid she was of her own pain. She was comfortable with being vulnerable around Seven, but the memory of Gabriel and the pain that came with the memory, they were simply too much to bear. That was one wound Raffi simply couldn’t show to Seven.

“You don’t want to dream of him, right?” Seven asked. “You don’t want to dream of him and wake up sad.”

Raffi chuckled again, this time through a lump in her throat. Trust Seven to be so very perceptive and so very right about every damn thing Raffi was feeling. She probably knew everything about Raffi as well, including her favourite food, which she’d forgotten a long time ago. She already did know the ways Raffi liked to be comforted, including the hugs and kisses and whispered promises of better days.

Raffi didn’t want to cry in front of Seven over Gabriel. Seven had had a son too – well, adopted, which totally did count in Raffi’s book – and she’d lost him in the worst way: through a betrayal. Seven had lost Icheb because her lover, Bjayzl, had betrayed her. Raffi, on the other hand, had lost Gabriel’s respect purely through her own mistakes. She hadn’t been there for him, for which he was still punishing her. She couldn’t fault him for that – she had accepted the blame – but sometimes she did wish he’d forgive her enough to at least talk to her once in a while.

“I know how hard it is to lose a child”, Seven breathed, “and while I know that our circumstances are different, I want to help you with your pain. No one was there to help me through my pain and, to be honest, I wouldn’t wish that to anyone. Least of all you.”

Raffi looked up at Seven just in time for the tears to spill. A soft whimper escaped her throat before she could stop it and so the floodgates opened. Seven caught Raffi into her arms as she collapsed against the weight of her own past mistakes. She cried out, quietly, hoping that her son would forgive her mistakes one day. If not for her sake, then perhaps for his own, or his daughter’s.

“Shh, it’s okay”, Seven breathed, “it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m right here for you; you won’t have to go through this alone. No, I won’t _let_ you suffer through this alone.”

Raffi whimpered, seeking comfort from Seven’s embrace. Seven rubbed Raffi’s back, trying to ease out some of the stiffness and tension from her muscles. She wished she could give Raffi some more comfort, but she simply didn’t know what else she could do at that moment. Raffi was in pain, and Seven wanted to help her feel better, despite all the painful memories she was experiencing at that moment.

“Is there anything I can do to make this easier?” Seven asked softly, hoping that she could ease Raffi’s pain.

“Something to drink”, Raffi whispered, sniffling, “I’m going to need something to replace all the fluids I’ve lost.”

“I’ll get you some”, Seven said, “but first, let’s get you on the bed. This armchair is killing my back.”

Raffi laughed tearfully and followed Seven onto the double bed. Seven went to the replicator after assembling the pillows in a way that would function as a backrest for Raffi. Seven replicated some herbal tea for Raffi and some cocoa for herself to not feel left out.

“I know Rios usually gives you coffee to make you feel better”, Seven said, “but I thought herbal tea would be better at this time of night. I don’t want you to miss too much sleep. And before you try to argue; I’m going to stay with you through the night. If you have a dream of your son and wake up sad, I’ll comfort you. Simple as that. I’m not going to leave you suffer alone. Okay?”

“Thank you”, Raffi breathed, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “For being here. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“That’s what girlfriends are for”, Seven said and drank some of her cocoa. “Now drink up. We have some sleep to catch tonight. Don’t think I’ll let you go without sleep this easily!”

Raffi smiled tearfully. That was _exactly_ what girlfriends were for, and she was lucky to have Seven, the best one of them all.


	7. Blanket Fort (In Which Soji And Elnor Build One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write! Enoch clearly has some grandpa energy and I love writing it :D

“What is going on?”

Enoch was leaning over the railings separating the mess hall from the higher level of _La Sirena_. He had, much to his surprise, encountered the pouting faces of Soji and Elnor, and he was now wondering how to make the two smile again. Enoch did not like to see the two “kids” of _La Sirena_ so moody and angry. The were just kids! Kids weren’t supposed to look so angry.

“We had a fight”, Elnor said as Enoch walked down the stairs to the mess hall, “with Picard. I told him he’s treating Soji unfairly because he keeps giving her so much work. I think that now that Picard is a synth too, he shouldn’t make Soji do everything that’s related to synth-organic relationships. It’s wrong.”

 _Oh._ Now that was a difficult situation.

“Picard got mad with Elnor after that”, Soji explained, “and I defended Elnor because I thought Picard was being unfair to him. Just because Elnor’s not a synth doesn’t mean he doesn’t know anything about us. Anyway, it ended up becoming a shouting match, and Picard called us both ‘too young’ and ‘immature’ and now we’re mad at him.”

Enoch pursed his lips together so that the kids could not see his smile. He could see in them the same spark of curiosity and justice that Captain Rios had had as a young man. Elnor and Soji wanted the world to be just, not just for them, but for everyone. They wanted to show their elders – in this case, Picard – how they’d grown and learnt everything about the world.

Just like Captain Rios had wanted to show his abilities to Captain Vandermeer.

Suddenly Enoch found himself feeling rather sad from memories that were not truly even his. He shook his head, as if that would make the bad memories go away and cleared his holographic throat.

“How about we make you two a nice blanket fort?” he asked, smiling. “Have you ever had a blanket fort built for you?”

Elnor shook his head. “I’ve never heard of such a thing. Do we need something to protect it from the enemy? Like spears?”

This made Soji laugh in a way neither Elnor nor Enoch had seen her laugh before. She was holding her stomach and giggling, much like a little girl. Enoch chuckled as well, seeing how hard Soji laughed.

“No, Elnor”, Soji said, still giggling, “we don’t need spears. Just blankets.”

“So, we trap the intruders under the blankets?” Elnor asked.

Soji and Enoch shook their heads, grinning from ear to ear. Elnor’s innocent questions about something that was such a mundane thing to them made them wonder if they should do more such things with him. Had he ever played tag? Hide-and-seek? Had he ever received silly Valentine’s Day cards or a birthday gift? Did he even celebrate his birthday? There were so many things he needed yet to experience.

“How about we build the fort and then show Elnor how it works?” Enoch asked.

Soji nodded. “Technically I haven’t built one, but I do have a false memory of one I made with Dahj. Which means I know what I’m doing, but it’s going to be my first as well.”

“How do you have a memory of it if you’ve never actually built one?” Elnor asked as Enoch began to replicate the blankets and pillows they would need to build their fort. “I don’t understand how it works.”

Soji sighed. “Bruce Maddox gave me false memories to make it seem like I had a childhood. I was actually constructed – or born – three years ago which means that every memory I have from before it, is a lie. A false memory. I’ve never built a pillow fort with Dahj, or played hide-and-seek with my mom. I don’t even have a mom – she’s just an AI! It means that, in a way, I’m less experienced at the mundane things than anyone in this crew, even though I do remember doing them. It’s a weird feeling.”

“Does it make you sad?” Elnor asked. When Soji nodded, he placed a hand on her shoulder. “We can have those experiences together! That way I can learn the things that seem mundane to you, and you can get some more happy memories.”

Meanwhile, Enoch was almost done with replicating the blankets and pillows. He had already arranged some of the benches in the mess hall to function as the supporting frames for the blankets. He threw one blanket over the benches and fastened it, creating a tent-like structure. He then turned to look at Elnor and Soji who hadn’t even noticed that he’d begun to build the fort.

“Soji! Elnor!” he called. “I need your help with the interior. You should decorate it the best you can. I can’t go in because it’s a closed area with no holographic emitters.”

Soji frowned. “Then why did you build it for us if you can’t be inside to begin with?”

“To make you two happy, you silly little synth!” Enoch explained, shaking his head. “I don’t like it when young people like you two look so miserable. I figured it would cheer you up. Doesn’t it?”

“It does”, Elnor said, “but I thought you built the fort because you liked building forts.”

“Oh, I do”, Enoch said and threw some pillows at Elnor and Soji, “but not because I want to spend time in them. I like to build blanket forts and such to cheer up people who are sad. Although usually it’s just children I get to cheer up.”

Soji smiled and, to Enoch surprise, hugged Enoch. Elnor decided to join the hug as well, which made Enoch unsure of how to respond. Which was fair – after all, Enoch was a navigator, not an official comfort hologram (which _La Sirena_ was in a dire need of). He was just filling the shoes of one since he hated to see the others in pain. Perhaps that was the reason Captain Rios was so annoyed at him all the time.

“Thank you, Enoch”, Soji said, still hugging him. “You did cheer me up.”

“Me too!” said Elnor, who was smiling even wider than usual when he was happy. “You have made me feel happier; thank you for it!”

“Aww, it was nothing”, Enoch mumbled, blushing. Apparently, holograms did that as well. “Now go on and decorate the fort and let me peek in when you’re finished.”

The kids nodded and crawled inside the fort. Soon Elnor had to crawl out because they had already used up all the pillows and needed to replicate more. Enoch replicated a dozen, and soon the fort seemed to be ready.

“You know what”, Enoch said after having peeked inside and deemed the fort suitable for its duty, “You two need some warm cocoa for the maximum effect. Wait there, I will replicate you some!”

Elnor and Soji sat back, smiling. They felt like they’d got the best blanket fort experience, thanks to Enoch.


	8. Lashing Out (Or How Raffi Helps Seven With Memories of Otherness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Seven/Raffi content for y'all! This was a surprisingly difficult story to start but when I finally got a good idea, I wrote this in one sitting :D I hope you'll enjoy it and please tell me your opinions when you're done!
> 
> Warning for mentioned discrimination against a lesbian couple!

Seven was angry. She’d been on a date with Raffi on an alien planet where someone had made some nasty comments at their relationship because they didn’t “believe in relationships between the same sex”. The close-mindedness of that person made Seven’s blood boil, especially after she’d seen Raffi’s defeated expression. How were there still people who could discriminate to others like that?

How did that person dare hurt Seven and Raffi in that way?

Seven had claimed the holosuite and was beating a punching bag in a deserted boxing gym. Occasionally she would screech when her fist collided with the bag, as if she were strengthening the impact by the force of her voice. She was angry – no, _enraged_ – at that particular individual who had spoiled their whole date and made Raffi look so miserable.

“Did that guy really make you so angry?”

Seven turned around to face Raffi, who was standing at the doorway. She had crossed her arms over her chest and was wearing a loose sweater and black jeans. She was smiling that smile she only ever showed to Seven, which made Seven feel warmth in her chest.

Giving the bag one last punch, Seven said, “he did. I guess he hit too close to home with that particular type of bias.”

Raffi tilted her head. “How so?”

Seven shook her head, not wanting to delve into the discrimination she’d faced as an xB. So many people had expected her to function differently because of her past, even though she was human – deep down, anyway. Something about that discrimination had been terribly similar to the one she and Raffi had faced down on the planet, but it wasn’t all the same. Seven wasn’t Borg by birth, but it wasn’t a choice either. She didn’t have a say in who she fell in love with, or in having been assimilated.

Seven was who she was, and there was no way to change that.

“It reminded me that no matter how hard I try, I can’t change who I am”, Seven muttered. She was looking at the floor to avoid Raffi’s eyes and whatever emotion she would find there. Seven hated causing pain to the ones she loved. She didn’t want Raffi to experience it as well.

“I wouldn’t change you. Not for one bit.”

Raffi cupped Seven’s cheek and guided her to look back up and at Raffi’s eyes. She was smiling in that gentle way she always did when something was bothering Seven. Seven inhaled sharply, knowing that she would, once again, end up being vulnerable in front of Raffi. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though, since Seven actually felt safe around Raffi.

“How about you go and wash off the sweat and I’ll get us something to eat?” Raffi asked, touching Seven’s forehead with her own. “We can continue our date night in our room and have some fun. How about that?”

Seven nodded and followed Raffi, holding her hand. In the bathroom, Raffi turned up the heating and placed some towels out for Seven who waited until she was alone to undress and activate the sonic shower.

When she entered the room again, wearing black pants and a loose tunic over them, Raffi had spread out a small picnic on the bed. She had replicated bottled drinks and some snacks for them, as well as a few slices of cake.

“How did I earn all this?” Seven asked, sitting down next to Raffi. “I didn’t even defend us. I just stood there, useless.”

“Hey”, Raffi said, adopting a reassuring tone, “neither of us knew that we’d face something like that. Such bigotry hasn’t been a part of our lives. Most Federation worlds do not discriminate based on who you love or date. I was just as surprised as you were. You weren’t _useless_.”

Seven sighed, avoiding Raffi’s eyes. She had felt so useless, unable to protect her dearest from such hate and unfairness. Raffi had been through more than enough in her lifetime, and Seven wanted to protect her from having to experience any more hate or prejudice. Raffi deserved so much better than some hateful person throwing insults at her while she was trying to have a nice date. Seven could only wish that she could provide what Raffi deserved.

“You deserve better, though”, Seven muttered, running her finger over the bed covers. “I sometimes feel I’m not good enough.”

“What?” Raffi asked, sounding thoroughly confused. Her eyebrows were knitted together as she tried to make sense of Seven’s words. “Not good enough? You? Seven, you’re more than _good_ enough! You…you are the _best_ thing that’s ever happened to me. God, I’m not saying it enough, am I?”

Seven looked up just in time to see Raffi bury her face in her hands and groan. Before Seven could say anything, Raffi came in for the hug, squeezing Seven’s shoulders as hard as she could.

“Seven, I wouldn’t want to change a thing from today”, Raffi told, “because you’ve made me happier than I’ve been for years! One bigot is not going to take away all the happiness I’ve had with you. I am so damn grateful that you exist and are in my life because without you, my life would be absolutely miserable. I…I think I love you!”

Seven was left speechless by Raffi’s declaration. She didn’t know how to proceed, not because it was a new thing for her to receive such a declaration, but because it was Raffi, sweet and beautiful Raffi, who made it. It felt like a new world had opened up for Seven because of Raffi’s words.

“I…” Seven breathed, trying to find her words “…I love you too. I really do.”

Raffi pulled away from the embrace to look at Seven, who still felt a little dumbfounded. Raffi was smiling from ear to ear, and her eyes were glistening. She let out a weak laugh after studying Seven’s face for a while.

“Glad that we got it settled”, Raffi said and then, in the spur of a moment, kissed Seven on the lips. “Now let’s have some food. I think I’m turning into Agnes, but all of this honesty has made me hungry.”

Seven laughed. “Maybe a little bit. But I won’t mind, as long as you’ll give me a warning so I can turn you back into my Raffi.”

Smiling, Raffi leaned her frame against Seven and picked up some of the little biscuits she’d replicated. She offered Seven a slice of cake – chocolate, with some salted caramel on top – and opened one bottle of lemonade for herself.

“That’s a deal”, Raffi said, and gave Seven another kiss.


	9. Confession (In Which Picard Ends Up Comforting Raffi)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an odd one to write. I meant for the comforted one to be Picard but it seems like he didn't want to be comforted, so here we are. I still don't seem to know how to write Picard.

Raffi was getting ready to beam down on the alien planet _La Sirena_ had reached that morning. She was humming as she packed her bag, thinking of all the presents she could get for Seven, who was away meeting with the Fenris Ranger operatives who were nearby. Truth to be told, Raffi was already missing Seven, even though it had been just a few days. _That’s what you get from being in love_ , Raffi thought.

As she was making her way to the transporter, she decided to check up on JL. He had been spending a lot of time alone as of late, and it had made Raffi a bit worried. Of course, he was probably alright and didn’t need Raffi’s mothering, but that was a habit of hers.

“I’m going to beam down, JL”, Raffi said as she entered the holosuite-slash-Picard’s-study, “do you want me to bring…anything?”

To her surprise, Raffi saw Emil sitting on a chair, seemingly having had a conversation with JL. Multiple possibilities to explain Emil’s presence filled Raffi’s mind at once. The thought process, wild as it was, went more or less like this:

_Huh, what is Emil doing here? Has JL been avoiding his check-ups again? No, wait, JL is a synth now. Do synths have illnesses? What sort of illnesses could synths even have? Does Emil have enough knowledge of synth illnesses to treat JL? Should Agnes be alerted about this?_

“Oh, Raffi”, JL greeted, “please come in. I think we’re done for today, Emil. I’ll be seeing you later?”

Emil nodded and stood up. As he passed Raffi, he placed his hand on her shoulder, and said, “please listen to what he has to say.”

As if Emil’s presence hadn’t made Raffi’s mind run wild, that most certainly did. Countless scenarios, wilder and wilder, ran freely in Raffi’s mind, making her worry more than she should. Her knees felt a bit weak as she sat down on the chair Emil had previously occupied.

“Is…is something wrong, JL?” she asked, trying to sound not as shaken as she felt. “Are you not feeling good?”

JL smiled, sighing, and shaking his head like a teacher who was very fond of his student. “And I specifically told Emil not to make you worry; he doesn’t seem to understand what kind of a worrier you are.”

“So…you _are_ ill?” Raffi asked. Secretly she thought how good it was that she was sitting, because her legs wouldn’t have carried her anymore.

JL looked deep into Raffi’s eyes, as if those new and shiny synth eyes could see something that humans could not. He placed his hands over the desk, crossing his fingers almost like in a prayer. Raffi had to hold her breath to keep herself from yelling _just spill it already, JL!_

“Yes”, JL said eventually, looking down at his hands. “It seems like I haven’t adjusted to my new existence as a synthetic lifeform as well as the others had hoped. I’ve been dealing with it thanks to Emil, but he’s been telling me to let you – all of you – know. I just haven’t found the right way to say it.”

Raffi let out a hysterical laugh. Had JL been suffering all this time, with no one to help him? Had Raffi really not noticed how her mentor had been in pain, silently, while the others were – well, not having the time of their lives, since they were all kind of broken, but the point stood – happy? Had Raffi really ignored JL, the man who’d made her into who she was?

“Oh, please don’t look so worried, Raffi”, JL said, looking now embarrassed. “It is just a minor depression, which is quite usual for a man my age. Of course, the reason for it is rather unique, but I’m positive that Emil can treat me. He’s quite skilled, you know.”

Raffi sniffled, and suddenly the tears were flowing. She had somehow managed to ignore all the signs that pointed to JL not being okay because she’d been so preoccupied by Seven of Nine. What kind of a friend did not notice it when another was suffering?

“Oh, my dear Raffi”, JL sighed and walked around the table to sit next to her. “Please don’t cry. I’m going to be just _fine_ ; I have Emil helping me and Agnes has promised to keep me in excellent shape. And the rest of you are such a wonderful crew! I’m such a lucky ex-Admiral to have you all.”

“But I didn’t see that you were in pain!” Raffi protested, trying to wipe her tears. “And besides, shouldn’t I be the one to comfort _you_? It doesn’t make sense that you’re comforting _me_!”

“But it does”, JL said, awkwardly patting Raffi’s shoulder, “because you’ve always been the one to look after _me_ , even though I was your captain. It’s about time I stop being useless and help you kids feel better.”

Raffi laughed tearfully. It was indeed strange how she’d always seemed to be the one to take care of JL, her own superior. She’d cleaned his messes, not caring a bit about how she felt about it because she just wanted to be a good officer.

“Now, as our dearest doctor would say, let yourself be comforted”, JL declared, almost sounding like Agnes in the way he pronounced the words which, in turn, made Raffi giggle a bit breathlessly.

“I will”, she said, “you’re doing a good job.”

JL smiled and then, to Raffi’s complete surprise, hugged her briefly. Before she could hug him back, he had already retreated back and was avoiding Raffi’s eyes. She couldn’t help but smile; he was still the good old JL who was awkward when it came to emotion and comforting others. The struggles hadn’t taken that away from Raffi.

“I’m glad we got that settled”, Raffi said, “but I really must go if I want to find a present for Seven before she returns.”

“Quite right”, JL agreed, “off you go.”

When Raffi reached the doorway, she asked, “so, did you want me to bring you anything?”

“I hear they have some exceptionally good tea”, JL said, “could you bring me a sample?”

“Aye-aye, sir”, Raffi said, disappearing through the door.


	10. Crying (Or When Emmet Helps Agnes Out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it even a surprise that this one is about Agnes? I hope Emmet's pov will prove interesting tho!

Emmet heard a sniffle. Then another. Someone was crying in the mess in the middle of the night. The only reason for Emmet to be up had been because an alarm had gone off and Enoch had asked him to investigate. Thankfully no one had woken up, or if they had, they hadn’t come to the bridge to investigate the reason of the seemingly sudden alarm.

Emmet walked down the steps to the mess hall and saw Agnes curled up against one of the supporting beams. She was shaking, and as Emmet tried to make his way to her, Emil activated.

“Deactivate EMH!” Agnes croaked before Emil could even open his mouth. Had he already activated earlier?

“ _Oye_ ”, Emmet said, kneeling next to Agnes, “ _¿qué pasó?_ Is something the matter? Why deactivate Emil?”

Agnes curled tighter into herself, sobbing. “I can’t take it anymore”, she whispered breathlessly in between her sobs, “I just can’t. Emil says I can recover from…from Commodore Oh but I don’t think I can. My mind is too broken. He should just give up with me…”

Emmet’s heart – or the holographic version thereof – broke for Agnes. She had come such a long way after the invasive mind-meld thanks to the support from Emil and every crewmember of La Sirena. She had very bravely deactivated the tracker, falling into coma in the process, and proved herself to be stronger than the Romulan hate of all synthetic life.

Emmet had to help her.

“You should let Emil help you”, Emmet said, placing a hand on Agnes’ shoulder. “You’re not too broken. You _survived_. If you let Emil – and the rest of us – help you, you _will_ recover. You’re strong, _amiga mía_ , stronger than you think. Please let us help you. _Please_.”

The last bits of Agnes’ composure crumbled, and she started full-out weeping. Emmet collected her into an embrace of sorts, providing some fleeting comfort for her. As Agnes cried, thought crossed his mind – how strange it was that even though she was physically there, crying on his shoulder, he couldn’t feel the tears, because he had no skin that would feel.

Emil activated again and, assessing the situation, tried to grab a hypo. Emmet shook his head, not believing that Agnes would want to numb herself instead of letting out the feelings weighing on her mind. Emil looked confused at first but nodded eventually. He placed down the hypo, and instead patted Agnes’ back rather awkwardly.

“Is there anything I can do to help, Agnes?” Emil asked softly.

Agnes shook her head against Emmet’s shoulder. She was starting to exhaust herself, which meant Emmet could use it to carry her somewhere more comfortable. Perhaps she could spend the night in the sickbay? Or maybe not. Her room could be better adjusted to keep her safe and sound.

“Chocolate”, Agnes mumbled suddenly between sniffles, “I want some chocolate. I don’t care what form; I just want some chocolate.”

“Sure thing”, Emil said, smiling, as he stood up and went to the replicator to get Agnes some chocolate.

“We should get you on one of those benches”, Emmet muttered, “think you can stand up?”

Agnes pulled away to look Emmet in the eye. Hers were red and puffy and she looked a little bit dishevelled all around. Her hair was pointing to at least dozen different directions and the tear tracks made her a sorry sight.

“If you help me”, she said, “I can’t move alone but with your help I might.”

Emmet nodded and helped Agnes stand up. Together, they made their way to the nearest bench where Agnes could sit down. Emil brought over the chocolate treats he’d replicated for Agnes and she immediately caught one chocolate cookie and began nibbling on it.

“Better now?” Emmet asked, sitting at Agnes’ right side while Emil chose the bench at her left. “Anything else we can do?”

Agnes shook her head. “This helped. I think I just needed to cry it all out.”

Emil patted Agnes’ arm, seeming immensely proud of her. He was smiling as he stood up and walked over to the replicator again, getting Agnes something that he hadn’t already replicated for her the first time. When he returned, he was carrying a cup of chamomile tea.

“I figured you might be quite parched after the crying”, he said, placing the cup in front of Agnes. “Try to drink that to rehydrate yourself. I may not have personal experience on crying my heart out, but I have extensive knowledge on the causes of dehydration.”

Agnes nodded and took a sip of the tea. Apparently, she was already dehydrated, since after one sip, she drank the whole cup of tea greedily. Placing the cup down, she grabbed a new piece of chocolate and ate it, probably to balance herself.

“Do you think I could spend the night in the holosuite?” Agnes asked softly, more to herself than to Emil or Emmet. “I have a program I could use. I could sleep in the nature, have the wind guard me.”

“Sounds lovely”, Emil said, smiling.

“ _Ay_ , I could stay with you if you want company”, Emmet said, swinging his arm around Agnes’ shoulders.

Agnes nodded, still a little bit shaky. “I’d like that. I really would.”

For once, Emmet felt like he’d managed to help her.


	11. PTSD (Or: Hugh's Demons)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually rather proud of this one, even tho it was pretty difficult to write! We all need more Hugh and he needs the maximum comfort

Hugh wasn’t sure how it had started. For weeks, he’d been fine, living life like nothing had happened, and then, one day, he’d seen Elnor holding a knife as he chopped some vegetables, and he’d spiralled. The overly helpful EMH had found Hugh, shaken but alive, hiding behind the biobed. He’d expertly guided Hugh out of the panic attack and then they’d sat down to talk.

It turned out that Hugh had PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder. Hugh chuckled hollowly as Emil showed him various holographic charts on the causes and treatments of the illness. For some reason, the phrase “commonly found in soldiers and victims of abuse” was sticking out to him, making Hugh feel rather nauseous.

“…but you’ll be pleased to find out that I already have experience in treating this and similar illnesses”, Emil chirped, “which means you’ll be in good hands, Hugh.”

“What?” he asked, only half-aware of Emil’s words. “Experience…you have treated someone with the illness?”

Emil pressed his hands together as he tried to appear cheerful. “Well, due to confidentiality reasons I cannot tell who my patient is and/or was, but…yes. I have treated at least one individual with a similar illness for a long period of time. They are not yet fully recovered, as they resist my attempts to treat them, but they are doing much better than, let’s say, a year ago.”

“Oh.” Hugh couldn’t think of a better way to react to the news. “That person…are they still on board?”

“That information I cannot give out”, Emil said, “I’m sorry.”

As Emil resumed his intricate explanation of the workings of a human mind, Hugh fell back into his thoughts. How was it that Hugh, who’d survived the Borg and being severed from the collective, was falling victim to this illness only now? How was it that having been a drone hadn’t broken his mind beyond repair? How was a near-death experience any different than being a drone had been?

Emil had noticed Hugh’s absent-mindedness and sighed, which brought Hugh back to the present. “I suppose you have dozens of questions right now. If you’re asking why it was you, or why now, I’m sorry to say that I have no answer. The mind is still largely a mystery to us. Why you’ve suffered so much, and never had any reaction until this, is a question to which I have no answers. But it does not mean that you are a weak man, far from it. You have survived and you have every chance to be whole again.”

“I see”, Hugh mumbled. He felt numb, like the outside world no longer mattered. Perhaps it was his mind trying to shield him from any future trauma?

“Heavens, is that the time?” Emil exclaimed suddenly and stood up. “You should get some sleep, Hugh. In the morning we can discuss treatment options for you. I have every confidence you will recover.”

Hugh nodded and left the sickbay. Climbing up the steps to the higher level of the ship, he noticed puffs of smoke rising from the captain’s chair, indicating that Captain Rios was still awake as well.

At first Hugh was just going to sneak into his room, unnoticed. He really was going to, hoping that no one would stop him and ask him why he hadn’t been at Elnor’s dinner. But before he could stop himself, he had changed his direction, walking straight to the bridge to greet the captain.

“Want any company?” Hugh asked softly, trying to sound like himself as he spoke.

“Not opposed to any”, Captain Rios said, gesturing towards the navigation seat, which Hugh claimed for himself. “You weren’t at dinner. Was something the matter?”

Hugh closed his eyes, sighing. “I had a medical emergency. The EMH helped me.”

The captain smiled, looking somewhat guilty. “I often call Emil a nuisance”, he said, “but the truth is that without him, no one on this ship would be functional. The lengths he’s gone to help our crew…I’m starting to think he deserves a medal or something.”

Hugh nodded, wondering what had made the captain so chatty on that particular night. He wasn’t unsociable, no, but often he was much quieter, preferring for others to speak instead of speaking himself. Was there a significance to the date, one that Hugh didn’t know?

“You know, nine years ago, I lost my captain”, Captain Rios suddenly told Hugh. “For years, I blamed myself, and would drink myself unconscious on the anniversary, but this year…I don’t know, maybe having a real crew has made me forget? Well, not forget, but I guess I’ve learnt to deal with it. The memory doesn’t suffocate me anymore when it does surface. I still might skip sleeping tonight, just to be safe.”

Hugh’s eyes widened. The patient Emil had been talking about, it had been _Captain Rios_?

What a turn of events.

“Emil…he told me I have PTSD”, Hugh blurted out. If it was to be a night of confessions, who was Hugh to stop that from happening? “I…I don’t know what to do with the information now that I have it.”

Captain Rios raised an eyebrow, looking about equally as confused from Hugh’s confession as Hugh himself was. For a moment, the two just stared at each other, unable to find words for what they were thinking (just in case their thoughts did not consist of the human mind variation of the holographic static sound).

“What a mess this is turning into”, Captain Rios muttered, shaking his head. “Do you need anything? Has Emil already planned the treatment for you? Just say the word and I’ll try to get you whatever you might need. If you want me to keep this a secret for the time being, I promise my lips will be sealed.”

Hugh nodded. “I think I’m good – as good as I can, given the circumstances. Emil wants to talk about my treatment tomorrow.”

“You should go”, Captain Rios said, nodding as well. “And if you need the input of someone who’s gone through a similar illness…well, you’ll know where to find me. It won’t be a pretty thing, the recovery, but I believe you have a real chance. At least you’re not quite as angry about it as I was.”

Anger was a reaction Hugh hadn’t even considered. He had been so busy feeling empty and disconnected from reality that other reactions – anger included – had completely eluded him. Guessing from Captain Rios’ tone, it would probably have been a bad reaction, anyway.

“I see”, Hugh breathed, looking down at his knees.

Captain Rios frowned. “Go to sleep. I can’t say you’ll be better in the morning, because I know you won’t be, but you’ll be alive and that’s what matters. You’ll be alive and Emil can start helping you to recover and I promise I will – just me if you don’t want the others to know – be there to help you through it. You won’t be alone. I’ll be damned if I let one of my crew suffer without helping them.”

Hugh nodded again. “Thank you”, he whispered, “I think you’ve given me hope.”

Captain Rios smiled and stood up. “Now, go to bed try to get some sleep. Captain’s orders. Tomorrow we’ll start getting you better.”

Hugh stood up as well, nodding. Captain Rios was right; the following day he would start getting better.


	12. Emotional Support Pet (In Which Agnes Meets Her New Helper)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit unassuming but I like it nonetheless. Lots of fluff ahead!

“Hey.”

Agnes was sitting in one of the aisles, her back against a bulkhead. Spot II was on her lap, purring and rubbing its head against her chest. She was petting the cat, looking very calm as she did that, as if it had a relaxing effect on her. Cristóbal crouched down next to her, scratching the synthetic cat’s head rather fondly for someone who claimed to hate cats.

“How are you doing?” Cristóbal asked softly. “You seemed shaken this morning.”

“I’m better now”, Agnes said, “a lot better. Spot II is helping me.”

Cristóbal smiled. “I see that. Can I help you in any way?”

Agnes looked up and nodded. Standing up, she grabbed his hand and made her way to the holosuite. Spot II followed them as Agnes activated the command console and accessed a program of hers. Cristóbal looked startled when a hologram of a large Maine Coon cat activated in the middle of the room. Spot II, curious as ever, went to examine the hologram as Agnes turned to look at Cristóbal.

“Emil told me that I could benefit from having an emotional support pet”, Agnes explained. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to have a real cat on board and I thought maybe I could create a holographic one? Is that alright with you?”

Cristóbal smiled, placing his arm around Agnes’ shoulder, and pressing a kiss on her temple. “As it stands”, he said, “Emil told me the same. With the exception that a dog could work better as a therapy animal.”

“A dog?” Agnes asked. “What sort of a dog?”

“Come and see for yourself”, Cristóbal said, leading Agnes away from the holosuite. They walked into one of the empty rooms that Cristóbal had stuffed full of the extra things he had.

Inside the room, in a small box, slept a puppy. It had a black back, brown sides, and white paws and stomach. As Agnes stepped closer, the puppy seemed to wake up – it yawned and looked up with its large eyes, tilting its head. When Agnes reached out her hand, the puppy sniffed it and began licking her fingers.

“You got me a puppy?” Agnes asked, suddenly overcome with emotion. “You got me a puppy to help me get better?”

Cristóbal smiled fondly at her. “Yes. A client of mine had found some puppies and sent me a call for help. Unfortunately, I could only take one of them, seeing as they’re Bernese Mountain Dogs which grow to be quite huge. But they’re well known for being excellent therapy animals and I immediately thought of you. I had to ask Emil, of course, which was probably why he recommended them to you.”

Agnes laughed a little bit tearfully, which the puppy noticed immediately. It managed to climb out of its box, knocking it over in the process, and to start examining Agnes’ feet. She lifted the puppy up, wanting to get a closer look of it.

“We’re going to have to train this one, won’t we?” Agnes asked softly.

Cristóbal nodded a bit gingerly. “I’m not looking forward to that, to be honest. My latest adventure at training a dog did not end very well.” When Agnes raised her eyebrows, he added, “let’s just say that when I was a kid, one night we had to go without dinner because the stray dog I found decided he was hungry. The next day my mother called a friend of hers and took the dog to them.”

“Oh, you poor darling”, Agnes said, “that must have been horrible.”

“I got over it, Ags”, Cristóbal laughed, “I was five. Anyway, what should we call this little one?”

Agnes lifted the dog to study it closer and scrunched her nose in a very Agnes-like way. “That is a very good question. I’ve never been any good at naming; Bruce wouldn’t let me name a thing. Help me out here?”

Cristóbal looked at the dog. “How about Gabriel? After a Colombian author whose books I need to introduce to you?”

“You mean the author of _One Hundred Years of Solitude_?” Agnes asked, turning to look at Cristóbal. “My dad loved that book; I think I still have the paperback copy somewhere. I think Gabriel would be a great name…no, wait! Raffi’s son is called Gabriel. Let’s not use that. I don’t want to make her sad.”

“Ah, you’re right”, Cristóbal muttered, scratching his head. After a moment of thought, he announced, “Merlin! Let’s call him Merlin the dog who will magically take your sadness away.”

Agnes giggled at the name and nodded her approval. “I like that. Welcome to _La Sirena_ , Merlin. Please promise me you’ll be nice to Spot II.”

Cristóbal grinned and scratched Merlin’s head. The dog let out a quiet woof and wagged his tail like he was the happiest puppy in the galaxy.

“How about we go introduce our newest friend to the rest of the crew?” Cristóbal asked. “I bet Picard will be happy to have a dog around again. And Soji and Elnor will probably be curious to see what this little critter is like.”

Smiling, Agnes nodded. Together they made their way out with Merlin.


	13. Baking (How to Cheer Up A Hugh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This is the longest chapter yet; almost 2 and a half pages in Microsoft word! Much fluff to come :D

Elnor was humming as he mixed the replicated ingredients together in a bowl. He hoped that the human delicacy called _brownies_ would turn out as good as Agnes had described. In hindsight, it was no great surprise that Agnes had recommended Elnor to make them since it contained chocolate and everyone on _La Sirena_ knew how much she liked all things chocolate. Perhaps he ought to save one piece for her?

“What are you doing?”

Elnor turned around to face Soji. She was standing at the doorway to _La Sirena’s_ tiny kitchen, wearing her everyday clothes and a pair of soft-looking slippers. Had she decided that she wanted some snacks and come down to make them?

“I’m baking”, Elnor explained, “because Hugh is sad, and I want to cheer him up. Apparently, chocolate helps with sadness.”

Soji raised an eyebrow and joined Elnor by the stove. “What is it that you’re baking? I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything baked from chocolate. And these almonds? Are they for your baking too?”

“It’s something called _brownies_ ”, Elnor said, “Agnes recommended that I make them. Well, originally, I asked Raffi what I should do to cheer up someone who is sad, and she said to give them a gift. It was Agnes’ idea to make it chocolate.”

“What an Agnes thing to say”, Soji said, giggling. “Can I help you with the brownies? I don’t think I’ve ever made those.”

Elnor nodded and began giving Soji directions. Together, they got the batter ready in no time, and went on to actually baking the thing. For a moment, they had to wonder if the baking tray they needed was the circular or the rectangular one, as neither of them knew how brownies looked. Eventually they settled for the round tray (“It’s a batter so maybe it should look like a cake!”) and placed the batter in the oven.

“How is Hugh?” Soji asked as they waited for the brownies to bake. “I haven’t seen him in a few days. I thought it’s impossible to avoid someone on a ship as small as _La Sirena_.”

“I heard from Captain Rios”, Elnor explained, “that Hugh is ill. Something has made him unhappy. But since Captain Rios wouldn’t tell me the reason, I don’t know any better than that. That’s why I wanted to make him the brownies to make him happy again.”

Soji smiled. “Hugh’s really lucky, having you as a friend. I wish someone would bake me brownies when I’m sad.”

“You can tell me the next time you’re sad and I can make you brownies”, Elnor suggested, grinning. “I think I should make an extra serving sometime soon so we can all share some brownies.”

“Let this be a test run”, Soji said, still smiling.

Nodding, Elnor fell back into his thoughts. He wondered what had happened to Hugh to make him so unhappy that he wouldn’t even come out of his room to see the others. Had Elnor done something? No, probably not, but that didn’t soothe his worries. It wasn’t like Hugh to self-isolate, not as far as Elnor knew. No, Hugh was outgoing, always seeking someone’s company.

What had made him unhappy enough isolate himself?

The ping of the timer brought Elnor back to the present. Soji took the baked brownie out of the oven and, for a moment, neither she nor Elnor said anything. The smell of the dessert blew their words away.

“Do you think we should let it cool a little before bringing it to Hugh?” Elnor asked, almost sounding like a curious little child. “I don’t think eating it so hot would be a very good idea.”

“I agree”, Soji said, “let’s wait for thirty minutes or so. I’ll get us some spoons and plates so we can eat it. And a knife for cutting it.”

Elnor nodded as he sat down on the floor once again. A surprising amount of the baking was just sitting around, waiting, he realised. With the Qowat Milat, he’d always had other tasks to do, which had meant that he had often skipped the baking, although many of the sisters often asked him to knead the dough. According to them, Elnor was the best person around to knead dough, because something he did made it more delicious.

After waiting for half an hour, Elnor and Soji assembled a tray for their little baked surprise and walked over to Hugh’s room. As Elnor was one who was carrying the tray, Soji knocked on the door and opened it after a very weary sounding “come in” was heard from the room.

Hugh was sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the door. He seemed a little bit surprised to see Elnor and Soji but other than that, there wasn’t much emotion on his face.

“We made you some brownies”, Elnor announced, smiling. “I heard from Captain Rios that you have been unhappy, and Agnes told me that chocolate makes people happier.”

“This was our first time baking brownies, though”, Soji added quickly, “so we’d like you to taste them and tell us if we made them right. I’m pretty certain we did everything right, but we’d rather be sure, wouldn’t we, Elnor?”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

Hugh gave Elnor and Soji a small, melancholy smile as he stood up. “That’s lovely”, he said quietly, “thank you. I’m afraid I won’t be particularly good company, but this does cheer me up a little.”

Soji and Elnor grinned. They placed the tray on Hugh’s bed and set out the dishes in a way that was reminiscent of a picnic somewhere in the nature. All that remained was to replicate some beverages for them. Soji walked up to the replicator before turning around.

“Is three lemonades alright?” she asked. “I don’t think we should have cocoa. That would be too much chocolate; we’re not superhumans like Agnes who can eat all the chocolate.”

“I would like to try it once”, Elnor mumbled as Soji brought the lemonades over. “I want to be as amazing as Agnes is.”

Hugh accepted his lemonade – it came in a nice glass bottle! – and sat down on the bed. Elnor cut three pieces of the brownie and placed them on the plates. Soji joined the two on the bed and took one of the plates for herself.

“Thank you for trying to cheer me up”, Hugh said softly after taking a few bites of the brownie. “I know I’m really bad company right now, but this really has made me feel a bit better.”

“Can we ask why you’re not doing good?” Soji asked. “We could try to help.”

Hugh nodded. “I guess there’s no point in hiding it. Emil’s diagnosed me with PTSD. I’ve had a few flashbacks and panic attacks because of it. I guess that’s why I’ve been avoiding the others, to not show my weakness.”

Elnor felt like the bottom of his stomach had fallen out. He shook his head to clear it before speaking up. “It is not a weakness!” he argued. “If Emil has a diagnosis, it means that you’re sick and you can be cured. You are not weak for being ill!”

Elnor threw his arms around Hugh and were it not for the quick reflexes that Soji possessed, the brownie would have fallen off the bed. Hugh awkwardly patted Elnor’s back before Elnor pulled back to look at his dear friend.

“I refuse to believe that you’re weak!” Elnor announced, shaking his head. “You chose to save Soji and Picard when you could have chosen to abandon them to the Tal Shiar. That is not a sign of a weak man.”

Soji nodded. “I agree. You’ve lived through countless of hardships, and you’re still alive. Having a bad reaction to almost dying doesn’t make you weak. It really doesn’t. To tell you the truth, I’m surprised that I haven’t had one yet.”

Blinking, Hugh nodded. “Thank you”, he whispered, “thank you. I’d forgotten that the truth comes from children, Qowat Milat, and synthetic lifeforms.”

Elnor looked confused for a moment but before he could ask, Soji said, “it’s a saying, Elnor.”

“But I don’t see a child here”, Elnor argued.

“I think that’s us both”, Soji said.

Hugh couldn’t help but chuckle. Yes, Elnor and Soji were a formidable force and they would not let him suffer alone.


	14. Road Trip (In Which They Set Out For Nepenthe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this was kind of difficult to write, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Poor Enoch is feeling a lot of pressure here.

“So, what is this so called ‘road trip’ that you’re proposing? There are no roads in space.”

Everybody was gathered on the bridge in an unofficial meeting sparked by an idea Enoch had had. He’d proposed a short road trip for the crew, and immediately faced a wild discussion over the theme. Some were completely against the idea, others extremely excited about it, and poor Elnor wasn’t quite sure what it was supposed to be.

“It is an old Earth tradition”, the captain explained ( _“Bullshit”, scoffed Raffi_ ), “to get on the road with your best friends and have a great time. I think what Enoch is suggesting is that we won’t take any jobs for a while and just set out to a starbase or a planet and have a great time while we do it. Kind of like the starship captains did during their deep space missions.”

“So, exploring new areas with your _buddy_?” Elnor asked, smiling excitedly.

That, of course, caused an uproar. Everybody tried to say their opinion, except for Seven who was content to just watch the events unfurl. She didn’t mind the idea of another road trip, this time with the crew of _La Sirena_ instead of the grand _Voyager_. Somehow, she felt more home on the freighter instead of the starship. Perhaps it was the motley crew, each member with their own shadows they were battling, that made Seven feel like she _belonged_.

“What do you think about that?” Raffi asked quietly as the others argued. “A road trip with these…weirdos. Would it be fun or chaos?”

“It would be both and we would enjoy it immensely”, Seven said, grinning. “It’s about time we realise our plan and abduct the doc and Soji for a girls’ night.”

“Good idea.”

Eventually the crew calmed down enough for Enoch to start talking again. He was grinning from ear to ear like an excited boy who had thought up the best surprise for his friends. Which was true, in a manner, because no one would have thought of a _road trip_ during the age of stellar exploration and planetary federations. It was a thing of the past, but perhaps it was alright for someone created after Captain Rios to have an immense love for all things ancient.

“I’ve been noticing that the lot of you have been very sad lately”, Enoch explained, “which is why me and the other holos decided to plot you guys a little surprise. We checked and made sure that you don’t need to take any jobs for a few weeks or so and you can just travel around the galaxy and have fun. That would work as a great stress relief, according to Emil.”

“That does sound like a nice idea”, Agnes agreed, “but where would we go? Some planet?”

This caused another uproar. Everyone had their own ideas for where they should go or what planet they should visit. Some wanted to see deserts, others snow, and poor Agnes just wanted to visit a nice cabin in the middle of a forest and swim in a peaceful lake or something.

In short: their ideas of a road trip did not match well.

“Okay, everyone”, Captain Rios said, holding one hand up while he used the other to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I know we all want different things, but we’re actually rather close to Nepenthe. How about we make a quick trip there? I hear Soji and Picard made some friends the last time they were over.”

“What an excellent idea!” Picard agreed, clapping his hands, and turning to Hugh. “Deanna and Will live there nowadays; I believe it would be nice for them to see you.”

Soji smiled. “I’d like to see Kestra again. I think the planet would be good for all of us.”

“Not to mention that the soil is known to have healing properties!” Enoch chirped up. “It would do all of you good to stay on the planet for a bit while we let Ian do some routine maintenance he hasn’t been able to do since we’ve had to keep life support on all the time.”

Captain Rios nodded. “Fine. Let’s set the engines to warp 5 and take our time to reach Nepenthe. We can relax while we wait for arrival.”

“Great”, Seven said, “let’s have a large dinner while we wait for the ship to take us to Nepenthe. Isn’t that what people on road trips usually do?”

Raffi laughed and nodded her approval. She made her way down to the mess hall where she began assembling the tables and benches while Seven replicated something for all of them to eat. Together, they had a dinner up and running in no time.

When the whole crew was seated, Raffi stood up. “I’m not holding any kind of speeches”, she announced, “but I decided I must tell you all that it has been a fantastic time with you. Now, eat up, and while you do, I’m going to tell you all the story of how I met Cris during a road trip of mine and basically abducted him as I was fleeing some angry Starfleet security agents.”

“Oh, god”, Captain Rios mumbled, “at least leave out the part where we got absolutely hammered, will you, Raffi?”

Everyone laughed and Raffi launched into a wild story of how she’d pissed off a few Starfleet security officers and had needed to disappear ASAP. She’d bumped into Rios in a deep space station where a soccer tournament had been taking place and, to his misfortune, the Starfleet security had decided he was Raffi’s partner in crime. They’d covered half the quadrant while evading Starfleet security, and, in the process, they’d become fast friends.

Seven was grinning the whole time. She really, really loved hearing Raffi’s story and watching the captain squirm on his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in tomorrow's piece "Camp fire"


	15. Campfire (Take Me Home, Country Roads)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone is content and there is singing.

The fire was crackling peacefully as the crew roasted marshmallows around it. Agnes was curled partly on Cris’ lap, resting her head on his shoulder, while Merlin the dog rested on her lap. Kestra was sitting between Elnor and Soji, telling a wild tale of the wild girl of the woods. Hugh and Picard were chatting with Will and Deanna, and Raffi was glued to Seven’s side, smiling.

“How are you feeling?” Cris asked softly. He had one hand tangled in Agnes’ hair while the other held a stick with a few marshmallows sticked at the end. “Coming here was a good idea, wasn’t it?”

Agnes nodded. “I like it here. I feel better than in months. You?”

“I feel pretty great as well”, Cris mumbled, closing his eyes. “Unlike our respective lives, this place is so nice and calm. And it has Kestra, which seems to make the kids pretty happy.”

“You almost sound like Soji and Elnor’s dad”, Agnes said, giggling. “I’ll have to be careful or one day you’ll adopt the two of them.”

“Would it be so bad? Us two living our best life, raising a Romulan nun boy and a three-year-old synth girl? We could do far worse.”

Agnes smiled. “You’re right. I wish I could give them a better life, but I’m not so sure I can. I’m not sure I can give myself a good life as it is.”

“We can always take it slow”, Cris reminded Agnes, kissing her temple. “I don’t think I could give them a great life either, but it would be a learning curve to all of us.”

Agnes nodded, grabbing Cris’ hand to squeeze his fingers. It was comforting to know that she wasn’t the only one who was so unsure of herself. Cris was just as unsure, just as terrified of the future possibilities for his life as Agnes was of hers. Together they could, perhaps, give each other a better life and help others like Soji and Elnor as well.

“Let’s enjoy the moment now”, Agnes said softly, “we can worry about life later.”

“Agreed. Our worries can wait. Now come here and let me hold you close.”

As Agnes and Cris snuggled close to each other, Raffi and Seven did the same on the other side of the fire. Raffi had her arm over Seven’s shoulders, and she was kissing her temple. Seven was smiling as she ate another roasted marshmallow, which this time was not as burned as the previous three had been. She was as happy as a woman in love could be – having Raffi at her side did _things_ to her heart.

“We should do this more often”, Raffi whispered.

“What? Snuggling?”

“No, silly”, Raffi said, laughing. “We should take holidays at Nepenthe more often. This place does miracles to my poor back. I feel ten years younger here; Enoch really was right about those regenerative powers the soil has here.”

“You’re right, of course”, Seven said, “my knee is doing a lot better as well.”

“Besides, just take a look at everyone”, Raffi muttered, “Soji is smiling so widely with Kestra. And Elnor looks like he’s just seen the invention of warp flight in real time. And Cris and Agnes. I haven’t seen them this happy since…well, I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen them this happy.”

“You’re right”, Seven agreed, “they look somehow lighter. Captain Rios is actually smiling instead of that angry smirk he sometimes does.”

“Exactly. Ugh, I guess I’ll just have to live knowing that it was Agnes all along who could make Cris happy.”

“Don’t pretend you dislike her, Raffi”, Seven said, chuckling, “we all know that you would do anything to protect her. You can’t fool me. You simply adore Agnes because of the way she loves Captain Rios. Or am I wrong?”

Raffi shook her head, smiling. “You’re right. I would fight anyone who even thinks of hurting Agnes. Unless she decides to fight herself.”

Meanwhile, Picard and Will had somehow begun to talk about music and the camping of old. Will had mentioned his trombone and how Kestra had taken an interest in playing the guitar. Picard, unfortunately, hadn’t got much of a musical talent, but he knew someone in his new crew who definitely had some musical talent.

“Rios!” Will called over the campfire, catching everyone’s attention. “Is it true that you can play the guitar?”

Cris, unsure of how to respond, nodded eventually. He hadn’t touched his guitar much as of late, but he’d played for as long as he could remember. It couldn’t be too hard to take playing up again.

“Great”, Will said, “because we have one right here. Could you play us something? A campfire doesn’t feel much like a campfire unless there’s some music for us all to enjoy, am I right?”

Cris felt a little bit alarmed, but before he could voice his fears, Agnes placed a hand on his arm. “You can do it”, she said softly, looking deep into his eyes, “you’ll do great. If you play _Country Roads_ , I can sing along to your playing.”

Cris smiled and nodded. The guitar was passed over to him and Agnes scooted over to give him some room to hold it. Taking a few steadying breaths, Cris started playing the all-so-familiar notes of one of his favourite childhood songs. Knowing the song by heart, Agnes began singing, and was joined by some of the others – most surprisingly, by Elnor!

_“Almost heaven, West Virginia  
Blue ridge mountains, Shenandoah river  
Life is old there, older than the trees  
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze_

_Country roads, take me home  
To the place I belong  
West Virginia, mountain momma  
Take me home, country roads…”_

As the song continued, Agnes felt more and more relaxed. Sharing moments like this with her crew made her immensely happy.

Closing her eyes, Agnes leaned her head on Cris’ shoulder and fell asleep in the safety of his shadow.


	16. Protective (When Cris Defends Agnes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I'm known to be an Agnebal author. Lots of sweetness in this one, but in the beginning there is a nasty person.

“Oh my god. Agnes? Agnes Jurati? Is that really you?”

Cristóbal had accompanied Agnes down to a planet’s surface to visit a marketplace while La Sirena orbited said M-Class planet. They’d spent their sweet time in the part with food vendors, trying out delicacies they’d only heard about before hearing of a vendor who had acquired many antique photography devices. Cristóbal, who had rediscovered his love for antique photography, had asked Agnes to accompany him to the stall, where they’d found a beautiful antique polaroid camera.

As they’d been getting ready to leave, a high-pitched voice had stopped Agnes at her tracks. A woman had approached, smiling the most wicked smile Cristóbal had seen on a human being.

“My goodness, it really is you!” the woman said, trying to embrace Agnes who quickly dodged and mumbled something about it all being a mistake. “It’s Johanna from high school; don’t you remember me? It’s been an eternity. You’re _famous_ now, did you know that? I must say, we all wanted to be known throughout the galaxy, but none of us realised that all we needed to do was to _murder_ our mentor in cold blood! What a great idea; but then again, you were always full of great ideas, Agnes.”

“You’re wrong”, Agnes breathed, shaking her head, “I’m not Agnes. You have the wrong person.”

“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport, Aggie! Your face has been all over Federation space; you can’t fool anyone with that little lie. Now, come on and tell me everything about how you killed Bruce –”

“Hey”, Cristóbal said, positioning himself between Agnes and the terrible woman, “didn’t you hear her? You have the wrong person here.”

Turning around to face Agnes, Cristóbal opened his comm link and whispered, “two to beam up, Ian.”

As they materialised back on La Sirena, Cristóbal noticed that Agnes was trembling. She held a hand over her lips as she tried to breathe through her nose, no doubt trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Seems like the trip wasn’t as enjoyable as we’d hoped, cap’n”, Ian muttered, “is there anything I can do?”

Agnes stifled a sob and turned around to hide her face. Her shoulders were shaking with the force of emotion that she was currently feeling. Cristóbal placed a hand on her shoulder and then, without much of a thought, took her hand. He led her into his – _their_ – room to calm down in peace.

“Hey”, Cristóbal whispered, cupping Agnes’ cheeks, “ _hey_. You’re safe here, okay? That woman won’t be able to come here and spew those awful lies she told you. She was wrong. We both know how wrong she was. I know you, Agnes, and I know you didn’t do what you did to become _famous_.”

Agnes nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. Cristóbal sighed and pulled her into a squeezing hug, hiding her from the world that seemed so hell-bent on hurting her. Agnes sobbed against his shirt as Cristóbal decided to sit down on his bed, bringing Agnes to a sitting position on his lap.

“I’ve got you, Ags”, Cristóbal muttered, “I’ve got you. You can let it all out and I’ll still be here for you.”

Agnes nodded, pressing herself closer to him. Cristóbal kissed her hair and massaged her back to let some of the tension off.

When Agnes eventually calmed down, Cristóbal allowed her to pull away and fall on her back on the bed. Puffy-eyed, she was a sorry sight and, if Cristóbal were to be honest, she looked like she could use some sleep. She hadn’t slept much as of late.

“Do you need anything?” he asked softly. “I could get you some tea if you want.”

Agnes nodded and closed her eyes. “Tea sounds good.”

Cristóbal made his way over to the replicator to get some nice green tea for Agnes. He’d read somewhere that green tea was good for the nerves and he was willing to try out that trick. Agnes was such a nervous little woman that anything good for the nerves was bound to be helpful to her. Honestly, she deserved some time off, preferably away from every single part of the universe that was trying to spoil her day.

“Here”, Cristóbal said, offering Agnes the clay mug, “I got you some Japanese sencha. It should be good for you. You know, calming and all that jazz.”

Agnes smiled tiredly and accepted the cup. She had propped herself against the headboard of Cristóbal’s bed and was using some pillows as a backrest. He sat next to her and kissed her temple as she drank her tea. She looked so tired that Cristóbal couldn’t help but pity her a little.

“Thank you”, Agnes whispered after finishing half of her tea, “for standing up for me like that. I like it when you act all protective.”

“I just hope it helped”, Cristóbal said, “because that person seemed so nasty. I hope she won’t start spreading out lies about you.”

Agnes hummed. “She probably has already. Some people just thrive on attention and she’s the worst of them with all those lies she makes up. She’d probably told some tabloid that we were best friends or something.”

Cristóbal shook his head. “What a terrible person.”

Agnes placed the now empty mug on a bedside stand and lay down on her side. She caught Cristóbal’s hand and guided him to lie down next to her and hold her close. He smiled, finding her need to be held quite endearing. Were he to be honest, he felt like he needed a few hugs as well, just to make sure that Agnes was doing good after their nasty encounter.

“What are you thinking now?” Cristóbal asked softly.

“That I’m lucky to have you act as my pillow. And that you really made me feel safe today. I appreciate that. I really do.”

“Good. Because if you’d like, I can do it more often.”

Smiling, Agnes nodded. Cristóbal caressed her cheek and gave her a little kiss before pulling her closer into an embrace. She pressed her face against his shoulder, kind of like hiding, and giggled a little.

“How about we take a little nap and go back to the market a bit later?” Cristóbal asked. “We can put on some crazy disguises like the ones we used at Freecloud. Wouldn’t that be funny?”

“Only if I get to use that hat”, Agnes said, smiling softly.


	17. Flashbacks (Or How Raffi Comforts Cris)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I'm actually rather proud of! Cris is not doing very well but at least Raffi is around.
> 
> Warning for an anxiety attack and mentions of various injuries and death!

It had been a routine mission. Soji had wanted to see some of the local people who had been developing AI for centuries, to build better relations between the synthetic and organic lifeforms. Together with Picard, she’d beamed down to have some peaceful talks with the local scientists and politicians, and all had seemed great. A peaceful mission to gain better standing with one organic species.

Of course, it all had to go wrong.

A group of rogue traditionalists who had sided with the Zhat Vash had infiltrated the building hosting the talks. Just as they had been about to gain understanding, Soji had been shot at, and her self-defence subroutines had activated. She’d fought the traditionalists, which had all but caused a political disaster.

When Cristóbal had heard what had happened, he’d rushed to the sickbay where Emil had been fixing Soji’s wounds with Agnes’ help. For a moment, Cristóbal hadn’t been on La Sirena, but on _ibn Mājid_ , looking at the two victims of Captain Vandermeer. Soji had been alive, but something in her wounds had awakened the memory of Jana, poor Jana, who had died in front of Cristóbal.

Which was why Cristóbal was currently sitting in the Captain’s seat, breathing forced through his cigar.

Everyone else was sleeping, seeing as it was around midnight. Somehow the past four hours had gone by in a haze, as Cristóbal had tried to keep the panic at bay. He didn’t want Soji to see how her getting hurt would make him react. Soji was not Jana, no matter how much Cristóbal’s mind tried to fuse the two.

“Haven’t seen you looking this miserable for a while.”

Raffi’s sudden appearance made Cristóbal’s shoulder jolt up. He hadn’t heard her approach at all, most likely because he had been too deep in his own thoughts. He made an annoyed sound at the back of his throat, signalling to Raffi that he was aware of her.

“Was it Soji’s wounds that got you so worked up?” Raffi asked. She was giving Cristóbal that knowing look. That _irritatingly_ knowing look. That look that said, “you won’t get rid of me until you spill it out”.

“What of it?” Cristóbal rasped out. He hated sounding so weak, but there he was, imprisoned by his own mind.

“Cris”, Raffi said, sitting down on the navigation seat and placing a hand over Cristóbal’s, “we’ve been through this. Or no, we haven’t been through this, but it’s about time we were. I’m your friend and I want to _help_ you. You already told me about Vandermeer and Jana, so don’t shut me out. Please, Cris.”

Cristóbal looked into Raffi’s eyes. He intuitively knew that she was telling the truth because the only thing he could see in her eyes was the worry she had for him. The same worry she’d had when he’d first seen Soji. Of course she’d been the one to realise that Soji’s wounds would have caused him to have a flashback to the day Captain Vandermeer had killed Jana and Beautiful Flower.

“I thought I would’ve been over it by now”, Cristóbal whispered.

Raffi moved to sit on one of the metal boxes that Cristóbal would use as makeshift tables when he wasn’t busy piloting the ship. She held his hand with her left hand and reached her right to caress his cheek. He tried to dodge at first, but eventually allowed Raffi’s wordless comfort. His chest felt still so tight from the memory and, before he could stop it, a shuddering breath escaped his lips.

“I know that Soji isn’t Jana”, he whispered, his voice paper-thin, “but somehow, every time she gets hurt or when something bad happens, I think back to that moment. I think back to the time I failed to protect her sister.”

“You couldn’t have known”, Raffi said, “there was no way you could have.”

“But if I had”, Cristóbal argued, suddenly sounding angry, “could I have stopped pops from shooting himself in front of me? If I had heard the message from Starfleet security, could I have saved Jana and Beautiful Flower and made it look like they were dead? If one more person had known, could it all have been prevented?”

His breathing was now laboured. The panic had caught up with him again, with the help of the guilt that had never truly left him. Cristóbal curled and uncurled his fingers to try and keep himself in the present, with only little success.

Raffi scooted closer to him and pressed her hand against his chest to ground him. “Hey”, she said, “take a deep breath. Try to do it for me, okay?”

Closing his eyes, Cristóbal inhaled deeply and held his breath for a moment before exhaling. He repeated this for a few times until his breathing was more or less under control. As he opened his eyes, Raffi smiled softly at him.

“There”, she whispered, “you’re okay.”

Cristóbal nodded shakily and tried to sit up straight, only to notice that he didn’t quite have the energy. Raffi shook her head, knowing more than well enough how much energy an anxiety attack could drain. She wrapped a quilt over Cristóbal’s shoulders and squeezed his fingers.

“I’ll go get you some chocolate”, she told him, “so don’t try to move. Your comfort isn’t over yet.”

Cristóbal gave her a tired smile as she hurried to the mess hall. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve such an amazing friend as Raffi. They were both a little bit broken, but somehow they managed to comfort each other when they were down.

“Here you go”, Raffi said, returning to the bridge, “I got you some chocolate cookies. They should make you feel a bit better. At least if we trust what Agnes says about the powers of chocolate.”

This time Cristóbal gave Raffi a real smile. “Thank you”, he mumbled, taking one of the cookies and biting into it. As soon as he swallowed the first bite, he realised he hadn’t had any dinner that day – a fact that might explain some of his bad mood.

“What do you say we get some real food as well?” he asked rather sheepishly. “I’m kind of starving.”

“Sounds good”, Raffi agreed, winking. “You get to choose, so surprise me!”

Laughing, the two descended to the mess hall to get some dinner.


	18. Hot cocoa (Or How Elnor Discovers A New Delicacy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting better and better at writing gen! This time Elnor sulks and Hugh is there to help him.

Elnor was sulking. He had, despite being an excellent fighter, managed to sprain his ankle while training with Emmett. This had led to a trip to the sickbay where Emil had told him to not walk on that foot for at least two days, which meant no training. Elnor couldn’t understand why he couldn’t return to his sparring the moment his ankle got fixed. What did Emil even mean with _an antique piece of technology that could not be relied upon_?

In short: Elnor was not allowed to leave the sickbay.

Sighing, Elnor stretched on the biobed and pulled the quilt over his shoulders. He wasn’t particularly good at staying still, which sometimes made falling asleep a bit tricky, but he was determined to take a short nap. At least he could use the off time to rest, right?

Just as he’d closed his eyes, Elnor heard the door sliding open. Who was that? Emil would whirr when he activated – holograms didn’t use anything as ancient as _doors_. Besides, he hadn’t left the sickbay, not as far as Elnor knew.

Opening his eyes, Elnor saw Hugh entering the sickbay. He carried two cups full of something that steamed and smelled good. Elnor sat up and was about to stand when Emil reactivated to stop him.

“No standing, Elnor!” Emil said sternly. “You’re to stay in bed for today and tomorrow. EMH’s orders!”

Elnor sighed but didn’t try to argue. He knew better than that.

“Don’t worry, Emil”, Hugh said, “I’ll look after Elnor. You can continue the update Ian started.”

Emil nodded and deactivated himself. Hugh brought a chair close to the biobed and gave Elnor one of the cups he was carrying. The liquid inside was warm and brown and it smelled sweet. Elnor had never had such a drink, but he did recognise the smell of chocolate, Doctor Jurati’s favourite delicacy.

“Did you give me liquid chocolate?” Elnor asked, pointing at his cup.

Hugh laughed softly. It wasn’t quite a happy laugh, not yet, but he seemed to be doing better than before. “Almost. I brought you some hot cocoa. I heard about your accident and I wanted to cheer you up. I hear that the people on Earth often drink a lot of cocoa during winter times because the shorter days make them unhappy.”

“Oh”, Elnor breathed, unsure of how to react. “So, is it a ‘magic potion’?”

Hugh shook his head. “No, not unless we believe what our dearest Doctor Jurati says about chocolate. I just think it’s something I can give to a friend to cheer him up.”

Elnor smiled. It was a kind gesture from Hugh to bring Elnor something to cheer him up. He took a quick sip of his drink and found that it warmed him nicely. Perhaps it was not a magic potion, but rather something with a generally nice effect which had given it the reputation of a magical drink.

“It tastes very nice”, Elnor said, still smiling. “It is like drinking warm soup after a cold winter’s day.”

“It warms you up, doesn’t it?” Hugh asked. He took a sip as well and let out a content sigh.

Elnor found himself feeling a bit happier with Hugh’s company and the hot cocoa that Hugh had brought him. Sulking had only made him feel miserable, which being alone had not helped with. If Elnor were to ask him, Hugh would definitely stay in the sickbay for a bit, just to keep Elnor company. Maybe he would even give Elnor another cup of cocoa before he left.

“Could you stay here for a bit?” Elnor asked, looking up. “Your arrival made me feel happy; before you entered, I was feeling down. There was no one to keep me company while Emil updates himself.”

Hugh nodded. “Of course. I would be glad to keep you company – I haven’t been around people much lately.”

Elnor smiled. He truly was lucky to have a friend like Hugh. Hugh didn’t seem to feel any kind of responsibility or obligation to Elnor, kind of like Picard felt. The others thought that Elnor didn’t realise it, but he did notice how Picard sometimes felt obliged to spend time around Elnor. Hugh wasn’t like that; he spent time around Elnor because he enjoyed it.

“I’m glad to be your friend, Hugh”, Elnor announced, catching Hugh by surprise. “You never spend time with people because you feel an obligation to them. It makes me happy that you’re my friend, because with you I can know for sure that you’re my friend because you like it.”

Hugh tilted his head. “Are there people who are your friends because of an obligation to you?”

Elnor held his cup between his hands and took another sip. “Sometimes it feels like Picard only asked for my help because he feels an obligation to me. It makes me feel a little bit sad.”

“You should bring this up with Picard”, Hugh said slowly, “perhaps he can alleviate your sadness.”

Elnor nodded and gulped down some of his cocoa. Hugh was right, of course, but even with his Absolute Candour, Elnor did not want to voice something that sounded like an accusation to Picard. The Absolute Candour was a tool for openness, not to hurt others for someone’s own gain. Elnor didn’t want to make Picard sad only to get rid of his own sadness.

Before Elnor could say anything, however, Hugh sighed. “You don’t have to say anything now, Elnor. Bring it up when you feel like you can.”

“That is a relief”, Elnor replied softly. “I do not wish to accuse Picard of a mistake he might not even be aware of making.”

Hugh nodded. “Then…how about I get us more cocoa? Do you want any marshmallows in yours?”

Elnor’s eyes widened. “You can put marshmallows in cocoa? Yes, please!”

Hugh laughed and soon returned with two slightly larger cups full of cocoa and a bag of marshmallows. For Elnor, it was a true feast that would make any man happy. For the rest of the afternoon, he and Hugh would tell each other stories of the things they’d done and the places they’d seen, all while enjoying their hot cocoa and marshmallows.

It wasn’t so bad, after all, to take a day off from training.


End file.
